Presidential candidate Donald Trump surprised the country by today announcing his choice for Vice President, and it was completely unexpected. Despite his previous “short list” of Mike Spence, Chris Christie and Newt Gingrich, Trump said he has chosen actresses Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen to be his co-Vice Presidents. “”Mary-Kate and Ashley are amazing,” said Trump in making the announcement. “They’re fighters, they’ve been all over the world, they’re smart, and they can be in two places at the same time, which is important to me.” The choice sets several precedents – the first twins, the first non-politicians, the first actresses, and the youngest candidates for Vice President ever to run. “They’re only 30,” said Trump, “and they make Hillary look like she’s 90. They’re very versatile, both of them, and they’ll look incredible on our campaign posters.” The choice still has to be approved by the delegates to the Republican convention, but Trump is confident they’ll be approved. “Once they see these girls in person, there will be no problem, I guarantee you.”
Donald Trump is so sure he can be elected President without moving a muscle, his campaign manager announced that The Donald is not only skipping the next Presidential Debate – he’s skipping he entire rest of the campaign season. “Mr. Trump feels he has enough votes now to win,” said the manager. “He doesn’t have to do anything more. He’s not going to debate, make speeches, travel to the primaries, or even lift a finger during the entire general election. He’s just going to coast the rest of the way, visiting his resorts, keeping up with his business – and starting to order new drapes for the White House.”
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