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Trump’s precedent-setting choice for VP – Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen!

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are the first twins ever chosen to run for Vice President.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are the first twins ever chosen to run for Vice President.

Presidential candidate Donald Trump surprised the country by today announcing his choice for Vice President, and it was completely unexpected. Despite his previous “short list” of Mike Spence, Chris Christie and Newt Gingrich, Trump said he has chosen actresses Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen to be his co-Vice Presidents. “”Mary-Kate and Ashley are amazing,” said Trump in making the announcement. “They’re fighters, they’ve been all over the world, they’re smart, and they can be in two places at the same time, which is important to me.” The choice sets several precedents – the first twins, the first non-politicians, the first actresses, and the youngest candidates for Vice President ever to run. “They’re only 30,” said Trump, “and they make Hillary look like she’s 90. They’re very versatile, both of them, and they’ll look incredible on our campaign posters.” The choice still has to be approved by the delegates to the Republican convention, but Trump is confident they’ll be approved. “Once they see these girls in person, there will be no problem, I guarantee you.”

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Wednesday, July 13th, 2016 Uncategorized No Comments

Confident Trump to skip whole campaign!

Donald Trump will be taking it easy until the general election.

Donald Trump will be taking it easy until the general election.

Donald Trump is so sure he can be elected President without moving a muscle, his campaign manager announced that The Donald is not only skipping the next Presidential Debate – he’s skipping he entire rest of the campaign season. “Mr. Trump feels he has enough votes now to win,” said the manager. “He doesn’t have to do anything more. He’s not going to debate, make speeches, travel to the primaries, or even lift a finger during the entire general election. He’s just going to coast the rest of the way, visiting his resorts, keeping up with his business – and starting to order new drapes for the White House.”

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Wednesday, January 27th, 2016 Uncategorized No Comments

Still undecided? Flip this coin!

If you’re one of the dozens of Americans who still doesn’t know who to vote for, here’s help. The 2012 Election Decision Coin is now available, and will help you make your decision when you enter the voting booth. One side of the coin features President Barack Obama, who brought the country back from the brink of a great depression, saved the American auto industry, created millions of new jobs, passed the Affordable Care Act that provides health care to millions more Americans, pulled the trigger on Osama Bin Laden, and ended the Iraq war. The other side of the 2012 Election Decision coin features President Barack Obama, who brought the country back from the brink of a great depression, saved the American auto industry, created millions of new jobs, passed the Affordable Care Act that provides health care to millions more Americans, pulled the trigger on Osama Bin Laden, and ended the Iraq war. So flip the coin, and either way it lands, you’ll know exactly who to vote for.

2012 Election Decision Coin, $1.95

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Tuesday, November 6th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Design your own Mitt Romney!

Now you can make Mitt into anything you'd vote for!

Not satisfied with how Mitt Romney is looking? Don’t like what he stands for? Now you can redesign him yourself! With the “My Mitt Romney” kit, you can make him into anything you want him to be. Make him lean more to the left. Make him lean more to the right. Change the way he looks at taxes, entitlements, women’s rights, corporations, the rich, the poor, the middle class, foreign policy… he’ll be for or against anything you are. As the most accommodating politician to ever run for President, Mitt Romney wants everyone to like what they see. When you’re finished designing your own Mitt Romney, he’ll be just like you! Just hope that a few minutes later, he doesn’t change into something else. Order your “My Mitt Romney” kit today!

My Mitt Romney kit, $14.95

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Monday, April 2nd, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

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