For guys who like to carry around a Swiss Army knife or folding utility tool, now there’s the ultimate gadget. Leatherman, makers of some of the world’s handiest pocket tools, is introducing its most complete tool ever. Featuring 167 tools, some even powered by batteries, the Leatherman Ultra has everything you’d need to face any situation, all folded into one compact device. Besides four knives, two screwdrivers, and three sizes of scissors, the Leatherman Ultra has a hammer, circular saw, linoleum cutter, wood plane, laser leveler, wire stripper, crescent wrench, toilet plunger, tuning fork, diamond saw, glue gun, nail gun – and the world’s smallest jackhammer. Because of its size and weight, the Leatherman Ultra comes with two wheels and a lanyard, so you can pull it behind you wherever you go.
You may be unable to screw in a light bulb, but now you can look like you’re capable of fixing anything around the house with a basement or garage full of what appears to be every tool ever made. Just as some people fill their bookshelves with fake books in order to appear intellectual, now you can buy a set of plastic tools that look completely real. New Toolz™ are so realistic, they’ll fool almost anybody – but they’re completely hollow and weigh only an ounce each. Each Toolz set features hammers, saws, wrenches, screwdrivers, clippers, vises and drills, plus a dozen obscure tools no one’s ever seen before. Hang the complete set of Toolz on your basement wall, and you’ll impress visitors with your handiness and obvious capabilities – just don’t let anyone touch them.
Toolz 148-piece fake tool set, $39.95
Finally, there’s a sport that lets you get some work done. Marathon running homeowners across the country are taking the sport to a new level – not just running, but running with a wheelbarrow. Several sports equipment companies are introducing special racing wheelbarrows – sleek, aerodynamic, computer-balanced wheelbarrows that let you run at full speed while carrying a load of dirt. These racing wheelbarrows aren’t cheap, but they’re fun – and useful, too. If you’d like to keep fit while competing in the world’s newest sport – and have a great conversation-starter at parties – try wheelbarrow racing. Order a racing wheelbarrow today.
Racing Wheelbarrow, $899.95
In an exciting advance for handymen (and handywomen) everywhere, now TNT – one of the world’s most powerful high explosives – is available for home use! The Blackwater Arms Company is introducing Home TNT™, just as powerful as the regular TNT used for sabotage and demolition on the battlefield, but it comes in various sizes and forms suitable for jobs around the house. Home TNT comes in a moldable form, like C4 High Explosive, so you can use as much or as little as you need. Tear off a little piece and stuff it in your kitchen sink to unclog it in a flash, or use a bigger chunk to take down a dead oak tree. Home TNT is so handy, you’ll wonder why you ever bothered with tools. You’ll think of hundreds of uses around the house, from eliminating garden pests to digging a hole for a bush to renovating the kitchen fast. Home TNT comes in 1-pound, 5-pound and 10-pound batches, with 100 feet of slow-burning fuses and complete instructions. Get Home TNT, and put that tool kit away!
Home TNT, 1-pound pack $69.95, 5-pound pack $299.95, 10-pound pack $499.95
The more houses you have, the more fix-up projects you have to do. Something always needs repairing in a castle that’s hundreds of years old. Just ask the Royal Family. That’s why they’ve developed a special line of luxury household tools that are capable of any job – and look good doing it.. Royal Family Tools are crafted of precious materials like 14K gold and sterling silver, are encrusted with hundreds of jewels, and often feature decorative engraving by master engravers. These fine tools are suitable for use around mansions and castles of all kinds. There is a full line of Royal Family tools – hand saws, hammers, screwdrivers, wrenches, and more. Each tool is something you’d be proud to be seen using anywhere on your estate. Start your Royal Family tool collection today with a special 24K gold box wrench set in a rare teakwood box.
Royal Family 24K Box Wrench Set, $69,000.
If you’ve ever cut your finger with a saw or hit your thumb with a hammer while making simple home repairs, you’ll appreciate a new product line just introduced by Morron Industries, just in time for home fix-up season. Safety Tools™ are household tools made with no sharp edges, dangerous points or hard surfaces, aimed at reducing the number of home repair injuries. A complete set of Safety Tools includes a carbon-fiber Safety Saw with rounded teeth, a cushioned Safety Hammer, Safety Drill with twelve carbon-fiber Safety Drill bits, a blunt Safety Awl, Safety Pliers, Safety Wrenches, six Safety Screwdrivers with protected tips, and more. To prevent misplacement of tools while working, all Safety Tools feature a nylon tether that attaches to the worker’s wrist. Also available is a Safety Stepladder that is completely enclosed and padded to prevent falls. Safety Tools are just as effective and efficient as regular tools, but are completely safe to use, even by homeowners who are all thumbs. Get a set of Safety Tools today, and make all your home repairs without needing medical attention.
Complete set of Safety Tools, $139.95
You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars for expensive power tools, or even ordinary household tools for that matter. Now you can make your own – like workmen used to do! Years ago, when there were no stores, cities or even neighbors, people made their own tools out of the strongest material they could find – stone. The made everything they needed to survive – knives, axes, hammers, large cutting tools, awls, everything that you need today. Now you can do the same thing, and save big money – with the PrimeTool™ set. With the do-it-yourself PrimeTool set, you can make anything you need to do anything around the house. Think of how that will save you time and money – when you need a tool for a particular job, like pounding, scraping, cleaning, cutting – you simply make the tool and use it! The PrimeTool set comes with everything you need: large rocks, medium rocks, small rocks, long rocks, short rocks, and flat rocks, all made of flint, chert, or other hard stone perfect for tool-making, plus complete instructions on how to strike one rock against another to chip off cutting edges. It’s easy – and fun – to be completely self-sufficient around the house… just like people were at the dawn of civilization.
PrimeTool™ Do-It-Yourself Tool Kit, $199.95
Whether you’re a hobbyist or someone who likes to work around the house, there are times when you need something cut right away – and your pocket knife isn’t up to the task. Maybe it’s a piece of wood that’s a little too long, or a tree branch that’s rubbing on the house, or a furniture leg that needs shortening. You don’t have to drag out the toolbox, because now there’s the Pocket Buddy™, a real operating chainsaw that fits right in your pocket! The Pocket Buddy runs on rechargeable batteries, and can do real work – like trimming branches, sawing through 1” lumber, cutting tough linoleum, and hundreds of other tasks you used to have to drag out heavy tools for. Yet you can keep it with you wherever you go, right in its own carrying case. You’ll be amazed at how useful the Pocket Buddy is, and how much time it saves you. As with a real chainsaw, be sure to wear eye protection with the Pocket Buddy, and use it responsibly.
Pocket Buddy™ Pocket Chainsaw, $89.95