Giant hole opens in Siberia – now Earth is deflating!

This gigantic hole opened mysteriously in Siberia.

This gigantic hole opened mysteriously in Siberia.

Scientists have discovered that the giant hole that mysteriously appeared in Siberia – apparently going straight down through the Earth’s crust – is releasing pressure at an ever-increasing rate. “That means the Earth is deflating,” said a Russian scientist who has studied the hole. “The fear is that once the pressure reaches a certain point, the Earth will fly off like a punctured balloon, looping crazily around the solar system and winding up as a flabby skin billions of miles away.” Could it hit another planet or even the sun? “That’s one outcome,” said the scientist. “Right now we are studying options to plug the hole, including a huge cork.”

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Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014 Uncategorized No Comments

GM recalls every car it ever made!

Recalled General Motors cars wait to be repaired, or tossed in the Caribbean.

Recalled General Motors cars wait to be repaired, or tossed in the Caribbean.

In a startling announcement, a spokesman for General Motors said that every car the manufacturer ever made – as well as half the trucks – were being recalled for being “pieces of crap.” “We apologize to the American public for putting out substandard vehicles,” said the spokesman. “By recalling them all, we’ll be able to get them off the road. We’re aware that most will not be fixable, so we intend to ship them to the Caribbean where they’ll be dumped in the ocean and used to create coral reefs, thus helping the environment in multiple ways.”

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Tuesday, July 1st, 2014 Uncategorized No Comments

New source of electric power – “tame” tornadoes!

Now tornadoes can be captures, tamed, and used to generate electricity.

Now tornadoes can be captures, tamed, and used to generate electricity.

In an unexpected advance in power generation, scientists at a company called Influx Power announced that tornadoes can be “tamed” and used to generate electricity. Formerly, tornadoes – one of the most powerful natural forces in the world – were unpredictable and uncontrollable. But new technology involving lasers and huge electromagnets can actually capture a natural tornado and force it to move to a safe area, where it can be kept whirling for weeks, generating enough electricity to power five hundred thousand homes for six months. “This new technology makes every other power source seem puny,” said a scientist. “One tornado can generate more power than a thousand square miles of solar panels.” The next step, say the scientists, is to create a tornado from scratch whenever one is needed.

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Saturday, April 26th, 2014 Uncategorized No Comments

New for Easter – organic, free-range Peeps!™

Organic Peeps are allowed to run free, obtaining natural sugar and marshmallows wherever they can find them.

Organic Peeps are allowed to run free, obtaining natural sugar and marshmallows wherever they can find them.

Finally! Just Born, Inc., the company that introduced original Marshmallow Peeps, is bringing out a healthy, back-to-nature version. New Organic Peeps™ are all natural, raised the humane, responsible way. Instead of being caged, both Chick Peeps and Bunny Peeps are allowed to roam free in a natural environment, finding their own wild sugar and marshmallows in the open grassland, and soaking in the Spring sunshine. In this way, they obtain their natural bright coloring without the use of artificial ingredients – and their happy lifestyle lets them become plump and tasty in only a few weeks. Organic Peeps are rounded up just before Easter,  humanely killed, packaged and quickly rushed to your local store, so you know you can give them to your kids and feel good that they’re eating healthy.

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Wednesday, April 16th, 2014 Uncategorized No Comments

Army’s newest deadly weapon – frozen vegetables!

Propelled at supersonic speed by this special launcher, a frozen brussels sprout can take out a tank.

Propelled at supersonic speed by this special launcher, a frozen brussels sprout can take out a tank.

The science of cryogenics, plus the U.S. military’s desire to use weapons that minimize environmental damage, has resulted in the creation of a new class of projectile. The result of an experimental program called Project Green, these projectiles consist of vegetables that are flash-frozen and kept solid in special containers on the battlefield. “Frozen vegetables are really hard,” said an Army spokesman. “And when fired at supersonic speeds by specially-designed launchers, can do a tremendous amount of damage – but not to the environment.” The spokesman explained that a frozen pea can kill a person, and a frozen baby carrot or brussels sprout can take out a tank. “When the battle is over, the vegetables simply rot,” he said. “No effect on the battlefield at all.”


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Monday, February 17th, 2014 Uncategorized No Comments

The world’s first edible car!

The 2014 Honda Civic Bio is the first car that is made of edible materials.

The 2014 Honda Civic Bio is the first car that is made of edible materials.

In an incredible breakthrough, Honda announced that its 2014 Civic Bio is the first car not only made with biodegradable materials throughout – but it’s actually safe to eat. “We wanted to build a car that was completely environmentally responsible,” said a Honda spokesman. “As a result, our research has led us to create the first car made from food-grade materials.” The outer shell and frame of the Civic Bio are made from compressed biomass compound that is stronger than fiberglas or steel. The interior is made from soft plant materials that are woven to a fabric-like consistency. The engine block itself is constructed of a superheated mixture of tough bamboo fibers and cellulose, compacted under tremendous pressure and molded into shape. The Civic Bio is built to last up to 10 years in normal use, and then can be disassembled, boiled on the stove, and eaten.

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Sunday, November 24th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

New garbage truck recycles trash instantly!

This sleek garbage truck takes your trash and turns it into useful products – right away.

This sleek garbage truck takes your trash and turns it into useful products – right away.

Taking a cue from the fishing industry – whose huge fishing boats clean, pack and freeze fish after catching them – the recycling industry is introducing a new kind of garbage trucks. The sleek new garbage trucks don’t just collect garbage – they’re like rolling factories that turn the garbage into new products instantly. Inside the trucks, garbage is sorted and cleaned, then each type is dealt with separately. Food is blended, cooked and turned into pet food and fertilizer. Plastic is melted and formed into automobile bumpers, plastic park benches, and plastic bags. Glass is crushed, melted and formed into new bottles and glasses. Rubber is melted and remolded into tires and rubber gloves. Paper is shredded, pulped, rolled and printed with today’s news. And everything is done while the truck is rolling through the neighborhood. In fact, you can order new products from the recycling company online, so after the garbage truck picks up your trash, it will leave a set of glassware, today’s newspaper and a pack of new trash bags.


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Friday, November 15th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Weather Channel to start hurricane – just to cover it!

Powerful convection machines will be harnessed together in the Atlantic to actually create a storm.

Powerful convection machines will be harnessed together in the Atlantic to actually create a storm.

It’s been mighty quiet on the weather front – and the Weather Channel is panicking. After all, they’ve got dozens of weather reporters with nothing to report, sending their ratings into a downward spiral. As far as hurricanes go, it’s been an uneventful season – the 8th year since the last Category 3 hurricane to make landfall. For that reason, the channel is attempting to start a hurricane itself, using sophisticated technology. Huge convection machines are being set up on an island off the coast of Africa, powered by electric generators onboard three ships. The convection machines are set up to blow air at hundreds of miles an hour in a clockwise direction. If the conditions are right, that will force the atmosphere in the area to rise, adding to the winds and actually starting a storm, which the Weather Channel is hoping will become a hurricane. Once the storm starts, the Weather Channel will finally have something to track, showing satellite images and using sophisticated equipment to estimate where the hoped-for hurricane will head. “Chances are, the hurricane won’t approach the United States, much lass make landfall,” said a source. “But if it does, the Weather Channel stands to gain incredible audience share.”

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Thursday, October 17th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

America is running out of dirt!

America's dirt is already of poor quality  and we may run out of it completely.

America’s dirt is already of poor quality and we may run out of it completely.

Scientists are warning that while we should still be worried about running out of clean water and clean air, there’s a new and more devastating potential shortage looming. “America is running out of dirt,” said a spokesman for the National Science Institute. “No one saw this coming.” He added, “People think dirt is everywhere and there’s no end to it. But that’s not true. Modern agriculture depends on dirt, but is using up all its nutrients, making it useless. And dirt is formed at a much slower rate than we need. As a result, within twenty years we’ll run out of dirt and have to import it from countries that have too much, like Brazil. We’ve begun working on artificial dirt, but haven’t got the costs down. We need it to be dirt cheap.”

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Wednesday, August 14th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Army deploys first army tank made of cardboard!

The M-77  's revolutionary composite construction lets it deliver enormous destruction while being kind to the environment.

The M-77’s revolutionary composite construction gives it enormous destructive power while being kind to the environment.


The U.S. Army’s powerful new M-77 tank is the first vehicle produced under the Pentagon’s Green Weapons Initiative. Featuring high-tech computerized guns and a solar-powered electric engine, the M-77 is the first vehicle to be constructed of case-hardened cardboard, a new cost-effective composite material developed to withstand several direct hits from anti-tank weapons, even after a heavy rainstorm. Yet the M-77 is completely recyclable – even its revolutionary electronics – and, after months of hard use, can be used as mulch. Other vehicles in the Green Weapons Initiative – the Hobson Fighting Vehicle, the N-99B Landing Craft, the F-43 Personal Fighter, and the Peoria-class submarine – are built to be effective in battle conditions, while being kind to the environment.

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Monday, July 1st, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Save the world’s rarest creatures – bi-polar bears!

Unlike normal polar bears, the bi-polar bear has good days and bad days, which could lead to its early extinction.

Unlike normal polar bears, the bi-polar bear has good days and bad days, which could lead to its early extinction.

While the arctic habitat for polar bears is shrinking due possibly to global warming, scientists are warning about the coming extinction of an even more endangered species – bi-polar bears. These bears can be seen only when they’re having a good day, when they frolic in the water and on what’s left of the arctic ice sheet. Much of the time, animal psychologists speculate, the bi-polar bears experience feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, and hide in snow banks or behind rocks, refusing to come out and engage with others. Loss of territory and dwindling food supplies may aggravate or even trigger these feelings, the psychologists think. That’s why a team of animal psychologists who specialize in polar bears is traveling to the Arctic Circle to try to treat the bi-polar bears by playing normal polar bear noises, and in some cases using lithium injections. You can help this noble effort by contributing to the expedition. But hurry – without intervention, the bi-polar bears won’t last much longer.


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Sunday, January 13th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Help solve the global warming problem – by breathing!

Global warming is causing the polar icecaps to melt – but the problem is easily solved!

The earth’s climate is becoming warmer, causing all kinds of exaggerated weather patterns, larger storms, concentrated rainfall, melting polar icecaps, longer droughts, and other problems. For some reason, carbon dioxide is becoming trapped in the atmosphere where it’s heated by the sun, messing with the climate. Whether the excess carbon dioxide is because of human activity or not, people can easily reduce the amount. We don’t have to change our factories or anything else. All it takes is for everybody to take deeper breaths and hold them longer. If you breathe more deeply and wait before exhaling, the carbon dioxide you’ve taken in will stay in your body instead of being released back into the atmosphere. If all seven billion people in the world altered their breathing patterns in this way, the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will be reduced, allowing the natural climate patterns to return and ending the climate change crisis. In fact, if you have pets, cattle, horses or other animals, teach them the deep breathing technique, and they can help reduce carbon dioxide, too. Our book Take a Deep Breath: Solving Climate Change the Easy Way explains the theory behind this incredible technique.

Take a Deep Breath: Solving Climate Change the Easy Way, 311 pp., $12.95

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Saturday, November 10th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Now – wash your trash before recycling, easily!

The CleanCycler makes sure all your recyclable trash is as clean as it can be.

Recyclers always want you to not only separate glass, plastic and metal trash, but make sure all bottles and containers are clean. But who has time to wash their trash before throwing it away? You do – thanks to the innovative new CleanCycler™ trash cleaner. The amazingly clever CleanCycler not only makes sure all bottles, cans and other containers are clean, it actually sorts glass, plastic and metal, putting all trash in its proper bin. And the CleanCycler is environmentally friendly itself – not only is it manufactured from recycled materials, it uses special filters to recycle the water it uses. The CleanCycler is easy to use – simply throw in bottles, cans, plastic containers, jars or anything recyclable, no matter how much food or dirt is on them or in them. Then turn on the CleanCycler, and in twenty minutes, your trash will be sparkling clean and sorted, ready to be recycled.

CleanCycler trash cleaner, $299.95

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Thursday, November 8th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

New electric car is recharged by “rowing!”

The Nissan Pulsare has an unlimited driving range – because it’s recharged by the driver while driving!

Up to now, all electric cars had the same problem – they had to be recharged overnight. At some point, conventional electric cars have to stop and be plugged in to be ready for the next day. Because of this, they’re all limited in their driving range – many can only go 400 miles before needing to be recharged. But no more. Thanks to research in biomechanics and advances in friction technology, the new Nissan Pulsare is the first electric car that not only never needs fuel – it never needs recharging! That’s because the Pulsare is recharged constantly by the driver. To start the car moving, the driver simply pulls back on the steering wheel, then pushes it forward. The friction generated by that simple motion is magnified by the Pulsare’s electronics and provides enough power to get the car going. Then, as the car is moving, the driver keeps up the push-and-pull motion on the steering wheel to generate the electricity needed to constantly recharge the battery. It’s almost like “rowing” the car! The pushing and pulling of the steering wheel is easy to get used to, especially when you realize that you are not limited in your driving range – the Pulsare can literally go forever without stopping to be recharged or refueled. If you’re considering an electric car or hybrid for its minimal impact on the environment, the Nissan Pulsare is your obvious choice.


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Tuesday, October 9th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Help make a coral reef!

You can help beautify the ocean by contributing old metal objects like cars and appliances to form new coral reefs!

Due to ocean pollution and other causes, the world’s coral reefs are disappearing at a faster and faster rate. These complex ecosystems house many kinds of organisms that add to the world’s biodiversity, so scientists are developing ways to help nature create new coral reefs. One way is to provide an artificial structure that the coral can latch on to and begin to create an elaborate reef. The scientists send old ships and other objects to the bottom of the ocean, but it’s not enough. The Accelerated Reef Project is asking for the public’s help in providing objects to place on the ocean’s bottom – the bigger the objects, the better. If you’d like to help in this noble endeavor, send any large metal objects like old cars, refrigerators and other appliances, lawn tractors or mowers, bed springs and frames, or metal furniture to the Accelerated Reef Project in Tampa, Florida. You can be proud that your castoff objects will help form new coral reefs around the world – and you’ve done your part to beautify the ocean environment.


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Monday, September 17th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Amazing garbage can “digests” trash!

The Ged actually digests garbage and trash and produces fertilizer – just like a goat!

Environmental scientists in Copenhagen have developed the world’s first electronic garbage can. Called the “Ged” – “goat” in Danish – the garbage can is equipped with a system that breaks down garbage and trash into its primary components, effectively digesting it – and produces a sludge that can be used for fertilizer in your garden. The digestive system of the Ged is based on enzymes found in a goat’s stomach – and goats are known for digesting just about anything. When you put items into the Ged, they are drawn through a series of three “stomachs,” each one breaking the refuse further, until after three days, it becomes liquid garden fertilizer, deposited in a drawer at the bottom. Simply slide out the drawer and spread the fertilizer over your garden. The Ged is the perfect way to recycle all your garbage and trash without having to maintain a compost pile or sort items – it will digest everything, even glass and metal cans. Get a Ged, and help the environment – and your garden.

Ged Electronic Garbage Can, $1,299.95

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Wednesday, August 15th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Power your home forever with gamma rays!

The GammaPower Energy Attractor is designed to look like an inconspicuous satellite dish – but can power your home forever!

Forget solar power – astronomers have discovered a source of energy that makes the sun look like a weakling. In deep space, supermassive black holes produce powerful gamma rays that release more energy in hours than the sun will ever produce. But how can you take advantage of that fact to light and heat your home, and operate all your appliances? The answer is the innovative GammaPower Energy Attractor™. Attached to the roof of your home, the GammaPower Energy Attractor looks like an ordinary dish antenna. But instead of magnifying satellite signals, the GammaPower attracts gamma rays emanating from billions of light years away in deep space. These gamma rays are then stored in a special lead-lined container, and released gradually to operate an efficient electric generator that will provide power for everything you need in your home – no matter what size – for millions of years. Best of all, the gamma rays themselves are unlimited – and they’re free! Now’s the time to get off the grid, and get all your power from a clean, environmentally-friendly source that will never run out – gamma rays.

GammaPower Energy Attractor, $4,999.95

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Saturday, April 21st, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Amazing new car is powered by beans!

The Acura LeGume features a revolutionary power train that runs on organic material!

Thanks to a breakthrough in automotive technology, you can now drive a car that needs no gasoline, electricity, or any conventional form of fuel. The new 2013 Acura LeGume is built around a startlingly innovative power system that doesn’t burn fuel – it digests it. The LeGume features a series of fuel tanks that break down organic material into constituent organisms much like an animal’s digestive system. The most effective fuel is beans, but you can use any vegetable or organic material. You simply load the main fuel tank with up to 50 pounds of beans, such as navy or fava beans, which are very cheap compared to premium gasoline. The fuel tank begins dissolving the beans and passes the resulting material to the other tanks to be further “digested,” soon producing a flammable gas that is blown out the back of the car and ignited in a rapid series of controlled explosions. This propulsive force can propel the LeGume to speeds up to 75 miles per hour, producing no harmful emissions. Check out the amazing Acura LeGume at your local Acura dealer.


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Wednesday, April 11th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

World’s greenest car disposes of itself!

At 200,000 miles, the Yaris Enviro actually contracts itself into a cube that can be completely recycled!

Winning the race to create the most environmentally-responsible car in the world, Toyota introduces the 2013 Yaris Enviro. The Enviro is made from 50% recycled materials, is the first car to feature seating areas made from woven plant materials, features sheet metal made from aluminum foam, gets 70 miles per gallon, emits practically no nitrous oxides, never needs additional oil, and is programmed to last 200,000 miles – 12 years of normal driving – when it actually disposes of itself. At 200,000 miles, the Enviro’s non-metal parts degrade into sludge, and over a period of two to three days, the car’s frame actually contracts, collapsing with the body panels into a cube of recyclable steel and aluminum. This eliminates the costs of stripping the car and crushing it, as is done with every other vehicle in the industry. All you have to do it call Toyota and have your Enviro cube hauled back to the factory where it’s completely recycled – and they’ll give you $1,000 towards a new Enviro. If you’re concerned about the impact your car has on the Earth’s environment, check out the new Toyota Yaris Enviro. It’s without question the greenest car ever made.


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Monday, March 26th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Amazing new device dries clothes using solar energy!

The SolarCord dries clothes using solar power – plus it's completely recyclable!

Now you can toss out your inefficient, space-hogging and power-wasting clothes drier. Thanks to new discoveries in sustainable energy usage, scientists have created a unique clothes drier that is completely different from anything you’ve ever seen. It’s environmentally friendly, recyclable, uses no electricity, creates no emissions, and uses no space in your basement – yet it dries clothes efficiently using energy from the sun. This incredible creation has been brought to market as the SolarCord™, and is available now – not at appliance stores, but at supermarkets and drug stores! The SolarCord comes with 24 recyclable SolarClips for attaching your clothes. The SolarCord will dry a full load of clothes – and with a second SolarCord attached, you can dry twice as many clothes in the same amount of time! Order your amazing SolarCord today – and cut down on your energy usage while becoming more environmentally responsible!

25 ft. SolarCord™, complete with 24 SolarClips, $99.95

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Thursday, November 17th, 2011 Uncategorized No Comments

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