In an unexpected advance in power generation, scientists at a company called Influx Power announced that tornadoes can be “tamed” and used to generate electricity. Formerly, tornadoes – one of the most powerful natural forces in the world – were unpredictable and uncontrollable. But new technology involving lasers and huge electromagnets can actually capture a natural tornado and force it to move to a safe area, where it can be kept whirling for weeks, generating enough electricity to power five hundred thousand homes for six months. “This new technology makes every other power source seem puny,” said a scientist. “One tornado can generate more power than a thousand square miles of solar panels.” The next step, say the scientists, is to create a tornado from scratch whenever one is needed.
In a shocking development, scientists studying the earth’s crust have discovered huge deposits of static electricity thousands of feet below the surface of the planet. The static electricity was created by huge tectonic plates rubbing against each other for billions of years they moved under the surface of the earth to create today’s continents. The static electricity can be harvested by mining, creating a completely new source of energy for the world, the scientists claim. It’s the first electricity that doesn’t have to be generated – it already exists. Static electricity miners will have to wear special rubber suits and avoid touching the walls of tunnels – or each other – to keep from being zapped, but according to scientists, it’s a relatively straightforward process to dig out the ancient static electricity and bring it to the surface.
In an amazing technological and imaginative achievement, the Siemens company has developed a home electric generator that doesn’t run on gasoline, kerosene or any other flammable fuel – instead, it runs on stored static electricity. Completely safe to use indoors, the Petterator™ generator is kept in a family room or living room, and because it’s covered in long hair, it’s so cute that every family member will want to pet it as they watch TV or even pass by. This petting action creates static electricity which is stored in the Petterator for future use – only a few weeks of petting will charge the Petterator enough to run the entire house for three days when the electricity goes out in a storm or other emergency. The Petterator can be constantly recharged, even when it’s generating electicity, by petting it. Whether you have pets or not, you won’t be able to resist petting the Petterator, and the whole family will love having it around – especially when the power goes out. Kids can even give their Petterator a name, and register it with the Siemens company to receive an official Petterator adoption certificate.
Petterator static electricity powered generator, $1,049.95
Wouldn’t it be great to get off the grid and be able to make enough electricity yourself to power everything in your home? Better yet, think how proud you’d be if you made your own power generator using state-of-the-art technology! Thanks to advances in quantum mechanics, you can actually build a machine that generates gigawatts of energy by room-temperature nuclear fusion! Up to now, a nuclear power plant needed millions of degrees to produce fusion. Cold fusion produces the same power at 72 degrees – and the generator weighs only 100 pounds! With the Homatic Cold Fusion™ kit, you can build a cold fusion generator for your home in your spare time… and bring your electric bills down to zero. It’s a win-win situation. Imagine being able to power your entire home forever, with just 32 ounces of fuel – even when there’s a neighborhood power outage. The Homatic Cold Fusion kit contains everything you need – reinforced aluminum housing, 1 quart of heavy water, six palladium rods, gears and pump, and all screws and fasteners. When you’ve assembled your cold fusion generator, plug it into your home electrical system, and relax. You’ve got enough energy to last a lifetime!
Homatic Cold Fusion Generator Kit, $2,999.95
Now you can run your laptop, smartphone, tablet, camera – and any other electronic devices – as long as you want! The Exotic Solar Company of Salt Lake City has developed a fabric made of flexible solar panels – and it’s being made into wearable clothes. That means as long as you’re outside, your clothes will be providing all the electricity your electronic devices need. Simply connect them to the flexible plug on your clothing, and you’ll never run out of electricity! Solar Clothes come in many styles, and are completely washable. Now you can leave the house without having to wonder if your devices are charged – they’ll be completely powered up as you walk down the street. Talk on your smartphone all day, download huge files or surf for hours on your laptop or tablet, do whatever you were afraid to do for fear of running out of battery power. With Solar Clothes, manually charging your electronic devices is a thing of the past. You’ll be helping the planet – and you’ll look ultra stylish to boot! Order the Solar Clothes catalog today!
Solar Clothes Fall 2012 collection catalog, $2.95
Imagine instead of relying on the electric company with its dirty and expensive fossil fuels to power your home, you could do it yourself with a clean, abundant natural resource that has never been tapped! Old National Geographics are America’s largest source of new energy… they’re clean, abundant, and best of all, very inexpensive! You or your parents have a basement full of old National Geographics. You see piles of them at garage sales and book sales. People throw stacks of them out every week. National Geographics are printed on heavy paper, and burning one issue will provide as much energy as a pound of coal! Our NatGeo generator creates enough electricity to power a large home. Simply put five National Geographics into the slot every day, and you’ll get clean, abundant energy for heating, cooling, cooking – all your electrical needs – for far less money than any other fuel! With a NatGeo Generator, you won’t have to pay big bucks to the electric company any more. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to find enough old National Geographics to power your home for decades! Order a NatGeo Generator today – and start saving big money on energy, while preserving the environment!
NatGeo Generator, $999.95