cruise ships

Earthquake creates new Mediterranean island – complete with tacky gift shops!

Cruise ships wasted no time in visiting the newly-created island in the Mediterranean.

Cruise ships wasted no time in visiting the newly-created island in the Mediterranean.

A powerful 7.7 earthquake shook the Mediterranean Sea just off Turkey, shifting buildings and rattling windows as far away as Pakistan. The undersea quake was so powerful, it sent up millions of tons of rock above the surface to create a completely new island within just a few minutes. Scientists who visited the new land mass reported that it was a fully-formed Mediterranean island, complete with trees, scenic cliffs, a deep bay with natural docks, and even an area of gift shops filled with merchandise like fake luxury watches. “Now we know how these things develop,” said one scientist. “We used to think these islands developed over thousands of years, but apparently they pop up in an instant.” The unnamed island is only three days old, but already cruise lines are adding it to their itineraries.

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Thursday, September 26th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

North Korea buys Carnival Cruise Lines – will use ships for prisons!

Giant cruise ships like the Carnival Triumph make perfect prisons, according to North Korea.

Giant cruise ships like the Carnival Triumph make perfect prisons, according to North Korea.

Troubled Carnival Cruise Lines announced today that it is going out of business – and selling its fleet of mechanically-challenged cruise ships to North Korea. The repressive Asian country had planned to build a series of new prisons for its citizens, but when the country’s leader, Kim Jung-Un, heard about the conditions aboard Carnival’s ships like the Carnival Triumph – lack of power and toilet facilities – he gave the go-ahead to purchase Carnival’s ships. The latest mechanical failures aboard the Carnival Dream and Carnival Legend only intensified North Korea’s desire for the ships. “With only minor modifications, these huge ships will make perfect prisons,” a North Korean spokesman said in a statement. “They have no toilets, no power, little food, tiny rooms, and are escape-proof.” North Korea expects to save billions of dollars on prison construction with its purchase of all 24 Carnival ships, which in total have room for 96,000 prisoners.

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Friday, March 15th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

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