Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich says that in order to find out who in this country are Muslims, and liable to be terrorists, it’s not necessary to ask them if they believe in Islamic Shariah law. After all, that would be against the Constitution, and it would be too easy for a Muslim to say “No.” Instead, he proposes that we ask each person to draw their idea of what Mohammad looks like. “It’s a simple test,” says Gingrich. “Non-Muslims could draw their own image of Mohammad, even if it’s just a stick figure.But since it’s forbidden for Muslims to create any image of Mohammad, they would refuse. Presto – you’ve got a Muslim. Just trot him out to a bus and deport him on the spot. It’s a foolproof idea.”
All of a sudden, the U.S. Supreme Court has competition. Irked by two recent rulings that put limitations on women’s reproductive rights, justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Elena Kagan, and Sonia Sotomayor quit the Supreme Court – and will start their own court. The new court, to be named the Extreme Court, will also feature other female judges from around the country. The Extreme Court will have the power to overrule Supreme Court decisions, according to Justice Ginsburg, who was so angry at the new court decisions she was still visibly shaking. “Women in America deserve their own court,” Ginsburg said in a statement. “Their rights under the Constitution cannot be trampled by troglodyte men who have no idea what it’s like to be a woman in today’s world.” The new Extreme Court is expected to convene in September.
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