Dubai buys Buckingham Palace – will take it home!

London's royal Buckingham Palace will be transported to the mideast country of Dubai.

London’s royal Buckingham Palace will be transported to the mideast country of Dubai.

In another display of over-the-top ostentation – like the world’s tallest building, the world’s only indoor ski mountain, the huge artificial islands shaped like the world’s continents – the oil-rich country of Dubai has purchased England’s royal Buckingham Palace for four billion dollars. Dubai plans to disassemble the palace and transport it home, where it will be reassembled and used as a tourist hotel. “While we are obviously attached to the royal palace, we felt it was a good deal,” said a spokesman for the Queen, who lives in the palace when she is in London. “The Royal Family has other places to live, such as Kensington, and will be able to use the money to refurbish their other properties.” For their part, the government of Dubai said purchasing the Palace was cheaper than building a big hotel from scratch, and will automatically be another of the country’s amazing tourist attractions.. The project is expected to take three years.

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Saturday, June 21st, 2014 Uncategorized No Comments

The world’s tallest building is actually a hologram!

This specially-captured image of the Burj Dubai shows that the building is actually an image projected from below.

This specially-captured image of the Burj Khalifah shows that the building is actually an image projected from below.

Reaching a purported height of 2,717 feet, the Burj Khalifah in Dubai is officially the world’s tallest building. Architects and engineers around the world have marveled at the structure which seems to defy traditional construction principles. However, a recent power outage in the area has revealed that the Burj Khalifah isn’t a traditional building at all… in fact, as a physical construction, it doesn’t exist. During the 15-minute outage, to the amazement of everyone watching, the Burj Khalifah completely disappeared. Minutes later, the power came back on, and the building reappeared. Reporters discovered that buried in the desert sands at the buildings location are gigantic laser projectors that shine upwards, using sophisticated optical technology to create a 3D hologram of a skyscraper. Visitors can walk around the image, getting as close as 10 feet, and the building appears to be completely solid. But try to enter, and guards will prevent you from getting any closer. The government of Dubai rushed to prevent the news from getting out, but they were too late.

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Friday, May 23rd, 2014 Uncategorized No Comments

New Easter Island statues popping up – all over!

These huge carved stone heads are emerging from the ground on Cape Cod.

These huge carved stone heads are emerging from the ground on Cape Cod.

The mysterious gigantic carved stone heads on Easter Island have just gotten more mysterious. They were created hundreds of years ago by a now-extinct tribe on the island – but recently new heads were spotted emerging from the ground. Archeologists noted the new heads and have no explanation – but even more mysteriously, the same type of gigantic heads are emerging in other places all over the world, including Cape Cod in the United States. “We always wondered how the heads were created and moved,” said a spokesman for the Pacific Archeological Institute. “But now it appears the heads simply pop out of the ground… and they’re not limited to Easter Island.” Archeologists expect to study the new heads to determine exactly what is going on.

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Tuesday, December 31st, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

New iPhone is a time travel machine!

The iPhone's competitors are scrambling to duplicate its time travel feature.

The iPhone’s competitors are scrambling to duplicate its time travel feature.

One of the innovative features of the iPhone has been its accelerometer. Since the first iPhone in 2007, the accelerometer lets you change or undo something merely by shaking the phone. For example, you can undo a typing or spreadsheet mistake, replay a song, or undo accidental email deletion by shaking the phone. The operating system of the new iPhone 5s, iOS7, goes even farther – letting you actually travel through time. In Calendar, a shake of the phone will not only undo an entry, it will actually take you back one day – to yesterday! You’ll find yourself exactly where you were 24 hours ago. Shake the phone again, and you’ll go back to the day before yesterday. Keep shaking, and you’ll travel back in time as far as you want to go. Just don’t go back too far, or you won’t have your new iPhone.

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Saturday, October 12th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Da Vinci portrait of Bigfoot discovered in bank vault!

Leonardo Da Vinci painted this portrait of Bigfoot, proving the legendary creature did exist at one time.

Leonardo Da Vinci painted this portrait of Bigfoot, proving the legendary creature did exist at one time.

Leonardo Da Vinci, the Italian Renaissance artist, sculptor, musician, and inventor, can add one more accomplishment to his resume – the discoverer of Bigfoot. According to art historians, not only did Da Vinci find the elusive creature in 1489, but painted his portrait. The long-rumored portrait of the long-rumored beast was discovered in a bank vault in Switzerland over the weekend. Authorities checking out the art collection of a recently-deceased millionaire found the painting among hundreds of others, and quickly identified it as the work of Da Vinci. “We’re extremely pleased to find a new Da Vinci – especially one with scientific as well as artistic value,” said a historian. “Now we know both the painting and the creature are real.”

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Sunday, October 6th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

The Google Glass Cruise – the first virtual reality vacation!

You're at your desk in your office – but a glance into your Google Glass puts you on a cruise ship!

You’re at your desk in your office – but a glance into your Google Glass puts you on a cruise ship!

If you’re one of the lucky few to be enjoying a Google Glass – the revolutionary wearable Internet device – you can now go on a cruise, without leaving home. The Google Glass Cruise lets you go about your daily routine, and experience a luxury cruise at the same time. Every glance into your Google Glass will put you aboard a cruise ship in the Caribbean. At work, a look around your office will be a look around the horizon at sea. A walk down the hallway will be a walk down the deck of a ship. Your home will be a relaxing beach shaded by palm trees. With Google Glass virtual reality, it’s possible to get away without getting away. You’ll even be able to take pictures of your virtual cruise to show your friends where you’ve virtually been. Sign up for your Google Glass Cruise today – and take the vacation of the future.

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Wednesday, August 28th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

All of Earth’s gold came from colliding stars!

Much of Earth's gold came from a collision involving movie star Mr. T decades ago.

Much of Earth’s gold came from a collision involving movie star Mr. T decades ago.

In a mind-boggling assertion, scientists claim that every piece of gold on Earth – your wedding band, your tooth fillings, all gold jewelry, all gold coins and artwork – came from stars that have collided. Big stars, small stars, superstars – it doesn’t matter the size. For example, suppose George Clooney collided with rapper Jay-Z. Enough gold would be scattered in the collision to supply all bystanders with hundreds of dollars’ worth. If singer Nicki Minaj collided with Beyonce, gold would be covering the ground. Scientists speculate that a huge percentage of the gold in the world came from a collision involving massive-gold-chain-wearing actor Mr. T and a jewelry salesman from New York in 1972. Since stars are still wearing gold and still colliding, the scientists say more gold will be created, perhaps doubling Earth’s gold reserves by the year 2100.

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Monday, July 22nd, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Army deploys first army tank made of cardboard!

The M-77  's revolutionary composite construction lets it deliver enormous destruction while being kind to the environment.

The M-77’s revolutionary composite construction gives it enormous destructive power while being kind to the environment.


The U.S. Army’s powerful new M-77 tank is the first vehicle produced under the Pentagon’s Green Weapons Initiative. Featuring high-tech computerized guns and a solar-powered electric engine, the M-77 is the first vehicle to be constructed of case-hardened cardboard, a new cost-effective composite material developed to withstand several direct hits from anti-tank weapons, even after a heavy rainstorm. Yet the M-77 is completely recyclable – even its revolutionary electronics – and, after months of hard use, can be used as mulch. Other vehicles in the Green Weapons Initiative – the Hobson Fighting Vehicle, the N-99B Landing Craft, the F-43 Personal Fighter, and the Peoria-class submarine – are built to be effective in battle conditions, while being kind to the environment.

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Monday, July 1st, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Control everything, everywhere!

The first truly universal remote control, the OmniTrol puts you in command of every device you encounter.

The first truly universal remote control, the OmniTrol puts you in command of every device you encounter.

Universal remote controls that let you operate your TV, audio system and other home devices are common. But recently scientists discovered a previously unknown radio frequency that every single device in the world responds to. That revelation has led to the world’s first truly universal remote control – one that controls things that weren’t intended to be controlled remotely. The OmniTrol™, from Tiger Electronics, looks like a remote control for a toy car or model airplane. But it uses the newly-discovered radio frequency to give you complete control over everything from your TV to your washing machine to stop lights – and even vehicles. Imagine being in complete command of everything, everywhere you go. Operate restaurant ovens, ATM machines, lights, signs, lawn mowers, coffee makers, elevators, buses – everything you encounter – from a distance. Silence noisy jackhammers and construction equipment. Bring traffic to a standstill, so you can zip to your appointment. Open up parking spots. Replay a scene in a movie theater. You’ll think of thousands of uses for your OmniTrol.

OmniTrol Universal Remote Control, $499.95

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Friday, June 21st, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

New Airbus can hold an entire town!

The new Airbus 350XWB carried everyone in Toulouse, France, on its maiden flight.

The new Airbus 350XWB carried everyone in Toulouse, France, on its maiden flight.

The world’s largest passenger aircraft, the Airbus 350XWB, recently completed its first flight in Toulouse, France. With a record-breaking six pilots and a crew of 240, the 350XWB is the only aircraft in the world that can carry 2,800 passengers – and in fact, carried the entire population of Toulouse on its maiden flight. In a publicity campaign later this year, specially-equipped high-capacity 350XWBs will transfer everyone in France to Spain – and back again – with 250 flights over a period of three weeks. This is expected to usher in a new era of tourism, wherein entire countries vacation with each other at one time.

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Saturday, June 15th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Mitt Romney adopts homeless foreign corporation!

Mitt Romney arranged with China's Premier, Wen Jiabao, to adopt an entire corporation and bring it to his home in the United States.

Mitt Romney arranged with China’s Premier, Wen Jiabao, to adopt an entire corporation and bring it to his home in the United States.

Proving that he actually believes that corporations are people, former Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and his wife Ann announced that they are adopting a young Chinese corporation that had lost its headquarters in an earthquake. All 1,563 employees of Xi Xang Industries will move into the Romneys’ home, each with their own bedroom. Each employee will change his or her last name to Romney, and Mitt and Ann will provide each one with a college education, a new car and a polo pony. “It’s our privilege to be able to provide a corporation like this – that has gone through such a devastating loss – with a warm, supportive home,” said Romney. “If everyone would do it, what a wonderful, profitable world this would be.”

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Tuesday, February 19th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Get Hugh Hefner’s Guide to Dating!

Now you can get a date as easily as Hugh Hefner!

Now you can get a date as easily as Hugh Hefner!

Finally, from the master himself, it’s the only dating guide you’ll ever need. Even at 85, Hugh Hefner has no problem getting a date, and now he reveals how he does it. If you’ve ever wondered how to find a date, where to go and what to say, look no further than Hugh Hefner’s Guide to Dating. Based on seventy years’ experience, Hefner tells you all the secrets to dating beautiful women and having a good time – and it’s so easy, anyone can do it. For example, finding someone to date is simple, according to Hefner. You don’t even have to leave your mansion – just go downstairs, and dozens of young, gorgeous women will throw themselves at you. Pick one – problem solved! Where to take her? Easy! Just go down the hall to the Party Room, where dozens more fun-loving people – even some celebrities – are waiting for you, ready to dance and party the night away. You’ll be astounded at how easy dating is, thanks to the common sense suggestions in Hugh Hefner’s Guide to Dating.


Hugh Hefner’s Guide to Dating, 125 pp., illus., $59.95

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Saturday, February 16th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

New camera takes pictures you already missed!

You can take pictures now of what already happened when you weren't ready!

You can take pictures now of what already happened when you weren’t ready!

Digital camera science is advancing by leaps and bounds. Following news of cameras that let you take a picture now and focus later, Canon has announced a camera that takes a picture of something that you missed. The innovative S2 IS digital camera is always on, and remembers everything that it sees, even if you don’t snap the shutter. If you want to take a picture of something that’s already happened, simply choose the event from the screen and press the shutter when the moment replays. For example, if you’re taking pictures at a marathon, and miss the winner breaking the tape, simply rewind the event on your S2 IS and snap the exact moment you wanted originally. Now you’ll always have perfectly timed pictures – blowing birthday candles, opening presents, jumping in water – that you missed, but your Canon S2 IS remembered.

Canon S2 IS, $99.95

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Friday, February 8th, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Dubai to build mountain taller than Everest!

Dubai Mountain, seen in an artist's conception, will be the largest man-made structure ever attempted.

Dubai Mountain, seen in an artist’s conception, will be the largest man-made structure ever attempted.

Already a land of superlatives – the tallest building, the largest chain of man-made islands, the biggest indoor skiing slope, the most expensive real estate – the country of Dubai is now planning on its most over-the-top project of all. On the drawing boards is the world’s largest man-made object ever built – a mountain taller than Mount Everest. The scope of the project is mind-boggling – after all, Mount Everest, at 29,029 feet above sea level, is the world’s highest mountain. Dubai is at sea level itself, so it will need to construct a pile of rocks over 6 miles high to beat Everest in the height department. Undeterred by the obstacles, Dubai officials – with an almost unlimited amount of money to work with – plan to import billions of tons of rocks and dirt from Afghanistan and neighboring countries, and use the world’s largest construction machines to put it all into place. The new mountain, to be called Dubai Mountain, is intended to attract tourists from all over the world – and will undoubtedly do just that.

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Friday, February 1st, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Get your grill going fast with a Boeing Dreamliner Firestarter!

The Boeing Dreamliner Firestarter uses advanced technology to start anything burning – even things that don't normally ignite.

The Boeing Dreamliner Firestarter uses advanced technology to start anything burning – even things that don’t normally ignite.

In searching for the origin of the mysterious fires aboard their new 787 Dreamliner airliner, Boeing engineers made an amazing discovery – a way to start fires quickly and dependably. Now they’ve incorporated this discovery in a new product for the home – the Boeing Deamliner Firestarter. Boeing isn’t saying exactly how their Dreamliner Firestarter works, but some scientists speculate it involves some sort of new battery technology. With a Deamliner Firestarter, you can light barbecue grills, start your fireplace – even ignite wet wood or objects that ordinarily wouldn’t burn – quickly and dependably every time. You’ll wonder why you ever bothered with propane lighters. The Dreamliner Firestarter isn’t cheap, probably because it involves advanced technology, but it will last for years.

Boeing Dreamliner Firestarter, $29.95

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Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Create your own planet!

Your dust cloud will create its own gravity and automatically pull itself into a planet.

Your dust cloud will create its own gravity and automatically pull itself into a planet.

If you want to get away from it all for a while, or you’re into sky gazing, or you just like making things, here’s the most rewarding project you’ll ever tackle – creating your own planet. Thanks to recent astronomical discoveries, scientists know exactly how planets are formed, and it’s easier than you’d think. The new book How To Make Your Own Planet gives you complete instructions. Basically, planets are formed from dust clouds. A big enough dust cloud will coalesce into a planet on its own, so the trick is to gather enough dust. You can save household dust from your vacuum cleaner instead of throwing it away, you can get dust from your friends and neighbors, or you can order it online. Once you have enough dust, How To Make Your Own Planet tells you how to get it airborne using strategically-placed leaf blowers. Once your dust cloud forms a planet, it’s only a matter of time before rocks, minerals, air, water, vegetation and life forms appear. Then you can use your new planet for vacations, exploration, whatever you want. Order How To Make Your Own Planet today – and start building your ultimate getaway!

How To Make Your Own Planet, 297 pp., $39.95

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Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013 Uncategorized No Comments

Now – print new body parts!

Print a nose like this and try it on – if you don’t like it, redesign it and print another one!

The science of 3D printing – which involves repeated printing of layers of materials to build up a 3D object – has now been combined with the science of creating artificial body parts to create an even more fascinating hobby. Now with an inexpensive 3D printer attached to your computer, and a set of special chemicals called NewYou™, you can design and print body parts that you can actually use! Imagine creating a new nose, or ears, or chin – or any other body part you want to replace. Simply print it out, and have a doctor surgically attach it to your body. Create a new face over the weekend, and show it off next week! It’s quick, easy and inexpensive when you do it yourself in your own home. Why pay tens of thousands for a new nose when you can print up dozens for a few dollars and try them on yourself? Plastic surgery will never be the same – and you can be one of the first to get in on the fun. Get the special printer chemicals today – and be a new person next Monday!

NewYou™ 3D printer body part chemicals, $69.95

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Saturday, December 22nd, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

No more snail mail – with the robot Pony Express!

The new fleet of robot horses will let the U.S. Postal Service deliver mail faster and more accurately.

For more than a decade, the U.S. Postal Service has been looking for ways to use modern technology to deliver mail faster and more accurately while saving money. Now its Mail Delivery Technology Division, working in conjunction with iRobot, has finally found a way to drag the Postal Service into the 21st century – with automated Pony Express horse robots! These amazing devices, called EquuBots, cost $4 billion to develop and run $5,500,000 apiece, but they stand to revolutionize mail delivery. Each solar-powered EquuBot can carry 300 lbs. of mail, both letters and packages, and can be programmed to deliver mail to any address in the country, running at speeds of 55 m.p.h., even in snow, rain, sleet and hail – and they aren’t limited to roads. Onboard optical scanners scan the barcodes on each piece of mail, and the GPS system lets the EquuBot travel to the precise address, where the machine ejects the mail and moves to the next piece. The Postal Service expects the fleet of EquuBots to save the government up to $2,000,000 per year in delivery and salary costs. Beginning in March, 2013, you can expect your mail to be delivered faster by your local Postal Service EquuBot.

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Thursday, December 20th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

Can’t make it? Send a hologram of yourself!

This man singing at a wedding reception is actually a hologram, sent from 2,000 miles away by a smartphone app!

The next time you need to be in two places at once – you can be! Thanks to advances in holographic technology, you can use the video capability of your smartphone to send an actual 3D hologram of yourself anywhere in the world. The innovative app called HoloGreetings™ makes creating and sending your hologram easy. Now you can attend birthday parties, weddings, business presentations, family and company meetings of all kinds – even though you’re actually somewhere else. Your 3D hologram will appear to be you in every detail, including your voice. Sing Happy Birthday, make a presentation or speech, watch a school play, tell a joke, perform a magic trick – say and do anything you want with your hologram.* With HoloGreetings, you need never disappoint friends or family members again.

*Do not use your hologram to perform weddings, insult people, vote in an election, or for other inappropriate use.

HoloGreetings app for iPhone and Android, $9.95

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Thursday, September 27th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

New app identifies nearby muggers!

WatchOut shows you in real time exactly where muggers are, enabling you to take a different route.

Now there’s a way to be safer when you have to walk through high-crime areas of big cities. Using a combination of technologies, the new WatchOut™ app maps your location – and any nearby potential muggers! Instantaneously putting together information from past local muggings, street security camera video, police arrest information, addresses of local criminals, and cell phone tracking, WatchOut shows you exactly where you’re likely to be mugged, and by who – enabling you to take a different route. WatchOut also features a button that instantly calls police and provides your location, plus turns on your cell phone video camera when a suspected mugger gets within 50 feet. WatchOut will be essential for anyone who works at night, has to cross a bad neighborhood by foot, has to walk in a dark area to get to their car, or even simply wants to know what’s happening in the neighborhood.

WatchOut Mugger Locator app, $9.95 (specify iOS or Android)

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Monday, August 13th, 2012 Uncategorized No Comments

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