Iran develops nuclear shoe-throwing machine!

A test of Iran's shoe-throwing weapon left the streets of a target city littered with shoes.

A test of Iran’s shoe-throwing weapon left the streets of a target city littered with shoes.

Scientists in Iran have revealed that they are indeed working on a nuclear weapon, and it has been completed. However, the weapon is not a bomb, as had been feared. Instead, the Iranians are using nuclear energy to power a gigantic machine for throwing shoes. “Throwing a shoe at someone is the most insulting thing you can do,” an Iranian cleric claimed. “There is no greater insult in all of Islam.” Thus, the huge machine will be used to insult Iran’s enemies no matter where they are in the world. In fact, being powered by nuclear energy, the machine is capable of heaving shoes as far as 5,000 miles – as many as 100,000 shoes an hour. “When our enemies see a rain of shoes falling on them from the sky, they will realize the true power of Islam and beg for mercy,” said the cleric. The shoe machine as it stands can’t heave shoes as far as the United States, but the Iranian scientists are working on an even more powerful version that will be used to leave the streets of New York covered with shoes.

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Saturday, September 28th, 2013 Uncategorized

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